(photo credit: Sergil Kuchugurni / shutterstock.com)My one cat, Pumpkin, has to be the most affectionate feline that’s ever roamed the earth. Seriously! He responds to commands just like a dog would do. Come, give a paw, sit… You get the picture. But man, does he hate to be held. Clearly, it’s not because he’s anti-social or doesn’t enjoy affection. He just struggles – literally and figuratively – to be okay with me picking him up.Now, according to one pet insurance company that offered tips on the rationale behind this type of behavior, it’s likely down to the fact that cats evolved as solitary hunters and, due to their smaller size, as potential prey to larger animals. As a result, the “fight or flight” instinct is particularly strong when they feel they’re being restrained, and for me, that makes sense. Even despite the fact that my cat has long evolved past the solitary predator stage and into the treat-motivated one. In the end, I guess I should consider myself lucky that Pumpkin chooses “flight” versus “fight” or I’d be bloody and battle-scarred on a pretty regular basis.How to Help Your Cat Tolerate Being HeldOf course, the cardinal rule of cat ownership is that they be socialized from an early age. Meaning gently handled and comfortable with being picked up from around one week of age. But, if like many, you adopted your feline as a grown kit, then that opportunity has long gone out the window, and you can rest assured their attitude and position on being held are already baked-in.While I tend to respect my pet’s boundaries, it would be a little less stressful if I knew that visitors to my home who often lean down to pick him up, don’t require me to immediately head toward the first-aid box. Or worse, that I have to discourage them from interacting with my pet. That’s why it’s important to help ease your cat into tolerating short, infrequent pick-ups and cuddles rather than resort to, well, violence.Win TrustFor cats, grooming is a very social activity that bonds them with other cats in their pack and can even foster a stronger connection with their human when done in a positive manner. Find a brush they enjoy – mine is a good bristle brush rather than a steel-pin slicker option – and gently brush them while they’re seated next to you. Typically, head, shoulders, and ears are a winning combo to deliver the sensation that will bring your feline back for more.Gradually, over time, try to draw them up onto your lap while brushing. This exercise gets them used to gentle touching and being held in close proximity to their human.Build ComfortAll cats have a favorite sleeping spot, and while we can’t always accommodate these odd little locations, we can emulate what draws them to it. So, gather up their favorite non-catnip toys and soft blankets to create a safe, calming environment for you to interact with them. Brushing, stroking, and offering high-value treats when they allow you to get close help to reinforce the positivity of this special downtimeOnce they’re accepting of you, graduate to belly rubs and lifting your pet slightly up out of their snoozing position. This will help them become used to and comfortable with your hands being under them.Extend The InteractionsRemember, your goal is for your cat to become less agitated and more comfortable with being lifted up and held. So, as they become acclimatized to you interacting with them, it’s important to gradually build on both the extent to which you’re lifting them up towards you and the length of time they will tolerate it. For this, finding that high-value treat that will cause your cat to a) ignore what you’re doing, and b) allow you to lift her for a short period of time, has to be something like these highly flavored tubes of wet cat food. The scent will draw your cat’s attention and, if held above them, the flavor will allow you to lift them up towards the treat. No rushing, no forcing, just let your cat lead the way on this one. If you can, lift and hold for several seconds. Hey, I’ve yet to meet a cat that doesn’t love Churros, so this should be easy.Respect the CuesSome cats will never enjoy being held, and the best you can hope for is that they’ll be happy snuggling up alongside you or sitting on your lap. For Pumpkin, it’s lying behind me on the sofa with one paw resting on my shoulder. Go figure.Picking them up and locking them in a tight hold while talking in a soothing manner and offering treats isn’t the way to win them over. Follow the above steps to gradually encourage your pet to enjoy this type of interaction. If they begin to stress – yowl, hiss, growl, flick their tail or attempt to get away -immediately put them down and let them know that you respect their decision.Then go back to step one, and win them over again. Above all, cats choose when and where to permit friendship and interactions. So, work to their schedule and use consistent, gentle persuasion to get to where you need to be.
