Avoid Overstimulation When Petting Your Cat

Psycologically based, overstimulation can result in biting and scratching without much warning.
We’ve all been there and those myriad TikTok videos prove that others have as well. You’re relaxing after a long day and your feline has wandered over to sit alongside you. But while you’re petting and talking to her, she has other things on her mind. Like, how annoying you are and that she wishes you’d stop touching her.
And that’s when it happens. A strike or a bite that tells you the moment has passed and she’s moving on. For cats with claws or exceptionally sharp teeth, it will hurt and almost certainly draw blood. Now, it’s not necessarily because you’ve been too vigorous or hit a sensitive spot – though you do need to be aware of these triggers - she’s just become overstimulated and you’ve missed the warning signs.
What to Watch For
For a seasoned cat owner, you already know the drill. But if you’re new to the feline game, here are a few tips. If, while stroking your cat you…
- hear a low grumble versus a purr that continues on
- notice her ears go back in that ready-to-fight mode
- see that her tail has started to flick rapidly
- feel her tensing up
- observe her trying to get up and move away from you
- notice she is turning her head quickly toward your hand as if ready to strike
… it’s time to stop because continuing won’t win her over. And if you believe that repeated petting over time will help her become more accepting, we’re talking about cats who can be loathe to change their ways.
So, why is it important to respect the indicators that your cat is done with the one-on-one and wants it to stop? Because you need to tune in to her signals and let your cat know that what she’s sending out, has been received. Listening to what your pet is telling you is how you build and maintain a bond.
And if visitors or children are determined to win her over, you need to step in. They won’t succeed and if your feline is reactive to new faces as well, advocating for your pet can prevent potential injury. Let visitors know that she can be skittish and that a couple of pats are fine but trying to pick her up and settle her in for a long session, isn’t.
What is Overstimulation?
Overstimulation is a psychological response to her feeling overwhelmed by external sensory information. It can present in a number of situations including thunderstorms, a change of living arrangements, too much play, and even catnip.
When it happens while petting, it can be due to the session running too long, that you’ve touched areas she doesn’t like, that she feels confined, or you’ve used a new brush… the sky’s the limit. What’s important to understand, is that it’s specific to the cat and it’s something you’ll have to learn more about as you try to work through this.
How to Work Past the Aggression
It’s not about changing the cat it’s about changing your approach. Observe how long she typically allows you to pat her. For my one feline, it’s about 30 seconds for others it may be a few minutes and for a few lucky pet owners, it might even be a full afternoon of cuddling up and being stroked by their favorite person. Know her specific timeline and stop before you reach it.
If you want to extend your one-on-one time a little longer, try adding high-value treats to the session. When you near her “timeline” offer her something tasty that will encourage her to stay and actually look forward to hanging out with you.
My orange tabby loves to snuggle with belly rubs and full-body brushing. My Maine Coon can’t tolerate anyone touching her lower back and hind legs for more than a few seconds. Find your pet’s favorite zones – chin, head, belly - and focus on those. It still allows interaction, but in a way that’s positive for the cat.
And if your feline is simply a hands-off, leave-me-alone kind of cat, respect that as well. Showing affection and bonding with your pet doesn’t have to include picking her up, holding and petting. Allow your cat to reach out to you when she wants to interact and you’ll have a friend for life

Sharing space with three seriously judgy Schnoodles and 2 felines who prefers to be left alone. #LivingMyBestLife
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