Why Does My Cat Rub Against Me?

Cat parents – have you ever wondered why your feline friend seems obsessed with rubbing against you? Do you wonder whether your cat is trying to communicate something important that you may be missing?

Head rubbing is a behavior that most cat parents find endearing. However, understanding your cat’s body language and non-verbal communication is an essential part of being a good cat parent. Cats are creatures of habit. This rubbing behavior is rooted in their instincts and learned from their mothers at a young age. It can have several meanings, requiring you to watch for other clues.

In this article, I’ll break down the basics of non-verbal communication and help you understand what your cat is trying to tell you. After all, communication is an important foundation for a strong, loving relationship.

Cats and Pheromones

Before we discuss the specific reasons cats rub their heads against the people in their lives, let’s take a moment to look at the biological explanation for this behavior. While there are many things your cat may be communicating, this communication largely comes back to one thing – pheromones.

Pheromones are natural chemicals produced in your cat’s body and released when they interact with other objects or animals, such as through scratching, rubbing against objects, or spraying. They are colorless and odorless, meaning you won’t notice they are there. However, these chemicals trigger responses in your cat’s brain.

The most common pheromones people are familiar with are those used when looking for a mate by triggering feelings of sexual attraction in other cats. We also see calming pheromones gaining popularity due to pheromone dispensers and other products that release synthetic versions of the chemicals to help a cat feel safe, relaxed, and secure.

I will reference pheromones and their use in communication several times as we explore the different ways your cat may be using head rubbing to relay messages to you, your family, and other cats in the area.

7 Reasons Cats Rub Against Their People

If your cat is rubbing against you (or someone else), they are trying to use this movement to communicate a message to you. Often seen as simply a sign of affection, head rubbing is actually a fairly complex behavior with several potential meanings. Figuring out what your cat is trying to say may require watching for other signals your cat is projecting. Here are a few of the most common reasons cats rub against people:

Just Saying Hello

The most basic reason for head rubbing is that your cat is simply greeting you. This is particularly common if you have just come home (like returning from work) or either you or your cat just entered a room. Cats often use this behavior to greet other cats. Seeing you as part of their family/colony, your cat is telling you they are happy to see you by using the same greeting.

Checking You Out

As your cat rubs against you, they put their face close to the surface of your clothing or skin. Considering how much your cat relies on their sense of smell to navigate the world they live in, it likely comes as no surprise that, in doing this, they are checking out what smells they can pick up on you. Where have you been? Who have you been interacting with?

This is also a common reason cats rub against people they don’t know. For example, if your cat rubs against a new guest in your home, they are trying to learn about this new individual who has entered their space.

By rubbing against them, they aren’t showing affection or telling you that they like this person – they are still checking them out to figure out whether they deem them trustworthy and welcome in your home. As such, they may also appear nervous or unsettled with wide eyes, ears flattened back against their head, or a twitching tail.

Asking for Attention

This is the reason most people associate with head rubbing. It’s quite possible your cat is feeling affectionate and asking to be pet. In these cases, your cat will likely show other signs of love and affection, such as:

• Purring
• Meowing
• Slow blinking
• Licking you (ask grooming or “giving kisses”)
• Love bites
• Kneading
• Rolling on their back before/after to show their belly
• Following you around

When your cat is being affectionate like this, petting them may not stop the behavior. In fact, giving them attention can encourage further head rubbing as they enjoy this bonding moment.

Letting You Know They Need Something

Cats are creatures of routine. They will notice if you are late for something typically scheduled, and it wouldn’t be surprising if they let you know. For example, if you are late filling their food dish, they may try to remind you that it’s mealtime. The head rubbing may be accompanied by little nips demanding your attention.

My two cats, Pippen and Jinx, will use head rubbing to ask for many different things, including letting me know they would like a treat, alerting me that their water dish is running low, or asking me to clean the litterbox.

Pay attention to whether your cat is just head rubbing against you or if their attention appears to be torn between you and something else. A cat asking for treats may rub against the cupboard where they are kept, while a cat wanting their water dish filled may wander over to check the dish.

Marking Their “Territory”

As I mentioned above, pheromones are often used to communicate with other cats. When it comes to head rubbing, your cat is leaving pheromones that tell others that you have been claimed. You are their person, and they aren’t afraid to make it known! The truth is that cats are territorial creatures and want to make sure they are marking their territory, even if that territory is another living, breathing being.

This head-rubbing approach may also be used to establish ownership over other members of their family, regular visitors/friends they love, or even inanimate objects throughout your home.

Be warned, if you have multiple cats in the home, this marking behavior may lead to some fights and turf wars. Whether you are introducing a new cat to the house or seeing territorial behavior arise between two existing cats, you can use pheromones to relieve the tension. Pheromone diffusers have been found to calm conflict, helping create a more peaceful home.

In our house, we have had a lot of luck with the Feliway MultiCat Calming Pheromone Diffuser in the early days of introducing new cats, including the foster cats that have come into our home temporarily over the years.

They Are in Heat

Is the cat exhibiting the head-rubbing behavior an intact female? When a cat goes into heat, they will exhibit affectionate behaviors. This includes rubbing against you, being excessively vocal, acting restless, or lifting their tail to present their rear end to nearby males.

If you are bothered by this behavior or want to put an end to it, the only solution is to make an appointment to have your cat neutered. Not only will this help your cat settle and prevent these mating rituals, but it will also prevent unwanted litters, which is a major concern with the abundance of cats in shelters across the country.

Itching/Skin Irritation

It is possible that your cat’s head rubbing behavior could indicate that they are dealing with itchy, irritated skin. There are several ways cats try to deal with feeling itchy, including scratching with their claws, biting at the skin, or rubbing against objects or other people. Therefore, your cat’s rubbing may simply be an attempt to scratch that itch.

There are several reasons why your cat could be feeling itchy, including allergies (environmental or food allergies), fleas, ticks, mites, infections (bacterial or fungal), or emotional triggers (stress or anxiety).

Other warning signs that your cat is dealing with itchy, irritated skin include:

• Excessive scratching or chewing at themselves
• Rash, redness, or swelling
• Bald patches
• Scabs, flaky skin, or dandruff
• Unpleasant smell

The only way to address this problem is to focus on the root cause. For example, if your cat is itchy due to a flea infestation, you will need to get rid of the fleas both on your cat and in your home. If your cat suffers from food allergies, you must adjust their diet to identify and remove the allergen. Your vet can help you discover the cause of the problem and advise on how to move forward.

When Should I Be Concerned About Head Rubbing?

Deciding whether your cat’s head rubbing is a problem starts with identifying the root cause. A couple of the potential causes listed above may already be cause for concern, like the itching or the territorial behavior if you are dealing with a turf war. But these aren’t the only problematic explanations.

Like itchy skin, head rubbing could indicate that your cat is suffering from pain or irritation due to an illness, injury, or ear infection. While cats are masters of hiding their pain, they may use behaviors like this to tell those they trust that they need help.

Some other red flags that your cat may be sick or in pain include:

• Excessive vocalization (meowing, howling, hissing)
• Vomiting
• Reduced appetite or refusal to eat
• Limping
• Rapid, shallow, or otherwise unusual breathing
• Refusing to jump on furniture they would typically explore without hesitation
• Irritability or aggressive behavior
• Overgrooming or bald patches
• Failure to keep up with their grooming needs
• Litterbox accidents
• Changes in their sleeping patterns
• Loss of interest in play and other previously loved activities
• Low energy levels
• Withdrawing or hiding
• Uncharacteristically clingy behavior

If you notice any of these warning signs, contact your veterinarian. The cause of pain could range from a minor inconvenience to a serious illness or disease. Getting much-needed relief for your cat starts with discovering the reason for their pain. In the meantime, your veterinarian may be able to offer medication to ease the pain and help your cat feel more comfortable.

What if My Cat Doesn’t Rub Against Me?

After reading all this, are you worried that your cat doesn’t love you because they aren’t rubbing against you this way? Don’t worry, and try not to take it personally. Just as people show affection in a variety of different ways, so too do our cats. Your cat may be showing that they love you in other ways.

It could be something as subtle as wanting to be in the same room as you, wherever you happen to be in the house. In these cases, they may not be in your lap – just being in your presence is their way of showing love. You may also have a cat who expresses love through gifts, bringing you their favorite toy or “less pleasant” gifts like the mouse they recently caught.

Other cats may be more forward with their signs of affection, grooming you or giving you little love bites.

There is also the possibility that you have a cat who once engaged in regular head-rubbing but they are doing so less in their senior years. It’s not uncommon for a cat’s behavior to change as they age. Your cat may become calmer and less demanding of your attention as they grow and mature. It doesn’t mean that they love you any less.

Unless you notice other behavioral changes that raise a red flag, a lack of head-rubbing is nothing to worry about.

Final Thoughts: Head Rubbing in Cats

Understanding your cat’s behavior is key to building a strong bond and relationship. However, our cats don’t chat with us vocally. This means we need to focus on our non-verbal communication skills and the ways they DO talk to us, including body language and their behaviors. Head rubbing is an excellent example of this.

By observing this behavior and any other signs or context clues, we can translate their message and understand what they are trying to tell us. Is your cat trying to welcome you home? Are they asking for dinner? Or are they trying to claim you as their own?

So the next time your cat rubs their head up against you, take a moment to appreciate that they are trying to communicate with you. They love and trust you enough to try to tell you what’s on their mind. Our job as cat parents is to meet them halfway and learn how to decipher what they are saying.  

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